Post traumatic growth

I’m not the same person as I was ten years ago. Not even five years ago. And I am not the person I thought I was going to be. I’m not a big fan of the expression “post traumatic growth”. Because all I want is for what happened to never have been. I wish no... Continue Reading →

I did good!

The worst thing I do is go to the OB. I know getting the smear test is important, but every time, I end up in full panic mode. Though my PTSD does not stem from a sexual trauma, it triggers some feeling of helplessness and loss of control that just makes it unbearable. But it... Continue Reading →

One of those days

Chronic illness is not predictable. You can’t say “I can’t be ill today. I have stuff to do. It’s better if I’m ill tomorrow.” I work part time. One of the reasons for that is that I feel exhausted if I work more than three days in a row. Then I would have one of... Continue Reading →

Not Broken

This is the title of my page, but I have still not explained why I chose that name. The short story is it’s an affirmation to myself. The longer story; well that might take a while. Nine years ago, my world was attacked, my faith shaken, and my life altered forever. For a very long... Continue Reading →

Loneliness

Admitting that you are lonely takes a lot of courage. Loneliness is still a huge taboo in our society. The problem is how do you make friends when you are no longer in school? When you were a kid, you could go up to someone in recess and say “Hey! Wanna be friends?” And that... Continue Reading →

Predictability

In these weird times, there is one thing I have noticed is so crucial to my mental health, and that is predictability. I know that routines and stability is important to stay away from the worst rabbit holes, but over the last couple of months I have more than known it because I read it... Continue Reading →

Freeze

Over the last few weeks, the world as we know it has changed. Massively. Our society is all but closed down, and we are all being told to stay home and don’t socialise. This can be difficult for mentally healthy people, but living with mental illness, isolation and global crisis is very challenging. I have... Continue Reading →

Yes, I have got another job

I work 50% as a nurse. Fortunately, Norway does have a welfare system that makes it possible for me to get a disability pension, but because my disability is invisible, many don’t understand why I deserve that support and why I need so much time off work. I am frequently asked what I do with... Continue Reading →

What does it mean to be high functioning?

“Someone with a disorder who can conceal his symptoms or participate in society is considered to be high functioning.” – Urban dictionary I’ve had a journey with the expression “high functioning”. No one knew I had PTSD for the first couple of years. I hid it away, controlling myself the best I could, hiding my... Continue Reading →

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