Ti år etter

This one is in Norwegian, marking the ten years that has passed since 22nd July 2011 Ti år siden den mørkeste dagen i mitt liv. Ti år siden verden ble snudd på hodet. Ti år siden 77 mennesker ble drept. Ti år siden rosetog. Ti år siden vi lovet å aldri glemme. Hvert år i...

Out of the pit

Depression can be scary. But to get out of depression can also be scary and it is hard. Two and a half years ago I was further down in the pit than I had ever been, and life felt quite pointless. That is when my therapist suggested antidepressants. Not as a quick fix, but as...

Body

If you're living with a mental illness, chances are it has also changed your physical health, and your relationship with your body. This can happen in many different ways, and I want to share with you some of the things I've noticed with my own body. Since I live with PTSD, I'd say the obvious...

Dear diary

A few months ago I saw a post on Instagram about journaling and mental health, and in the description it said it was a bullet journal. I have long been thinking about journaling for my mental health, but the "dear diary"- form has never suited me, even though I have tried it many times. So...

Toolbox

I'm doing better than I have in a long time. Recovery does not necessarily mean that my PTSD is gone. Rather it means I have found a toolbox that helps me manage my symptoms in a way so that I have a good quality of life, and my illness no longer dominates every aspect of...

Writer’s block

I haven’t written anything in a long time. Not because there is nothing to write about, but because my little monster has been telling me that my writing is no good, and no one wants to read about it anyway. This is not a “poor me, pity me” post. This is me trying to tell...

Nopevember and the fear of seasonal depression

There are many traditions connected to autumn. Picking and pressing colourful leaves, chunky wool sweaters and fluffy socks. The American influence brings us Halloween and pumpkin spice and cinnamon lattes. But for me, and for many others with mental health issues, the biggest tradition for autumn is the anxiety about how bad this year’s seasonal...

Post traumatic growth

I’m not the same person as I was ten years ago. Not even five years ago. And I am not the person I thought I was going to be. I’m not a big fan of the expression “post traumatic growth”. Because all I want is for what happened to never have been. I wish no...

I did good!

The worst thing I do is go to the OB. I know getting the smear test is important, but every time, I end up in full panic mode. Though my PTSD does not stem from a sexual trauma, it triggers some feeling of helplessness and loss of control that just makes it unbearable. But it...

One of those days

Chronic illness is not predictable. You can’t say “I can’t be ill today. I have stuff to do. It’s better if I’m ill tomorrow.” I work part time. One of the reasons for that is that I feel exhausted if I work more than three days in a row. Then I would have one of...